


Breakfast and a Halloween Show - 10/31/2020

by banjo99



Series: Breakfast and a Show [62]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Podcast: Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banjo99/pseuds/banjo99
Relationships: Cho Chang/Cedric Diggory
Series: Breakfast and a Show [62]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762708
Kudos: 5





	Breakfast and a Halloween Show - 10/31/2020

"You can help me.....get the candle...." Colin Creevey, demigod of milk heard, whispered in his ear. "Get the candle....light the candle...."

"That's odd," Colin thought. "Usually it's just my mom whispering in my head after she and Ron have churned some butter..."

"The candle....the candle...", the voice continued.

Suddenly, Colin was overtaken and in a trance. He walked from the entrance hall into the Great Hall, where Breakfast was taking place. Looking to the enchanted ceiling, he noticed one candle, unlit, floating by itself. "Accio candle!" Colin intoned. The candle flew to his hand.

Stumbling past Ginny, Veela Draco, and Brian the Obvious Sous Chef at his station (shing/Shing), Colin approached the front of the hall.

Dumbledore looked down curiously at the young demigod. "Is there something the matter, Colin?"

"Nothing is the matter, sir," Colin said. Suddenly he leaped to the table, slapped Dumbledore across the face, and knocked one of the candles out of its holder on the table. He placed the candle, which appeared to be made of fat of hanged man. It had intricate designs upon it.

"Colin don't!" cried Professor McGonagall. "Don't you know what that will do?"

Suddenly from the side of Colin's head, Cho Chang (Killer Ghost)'s head appeared and screeched, "Of course I do! On this rare Halloween in the year 2020, with a Blue Moon and a Full Moon if lit by a demigod virgin it will allow me to pierce the veil and return to the land of the living. And bring my precious Cedric back. It's the only way now that I was unable to collect all 27 knives!"

Cedric (Ghost) appeared, kissed Colin/Ghost Cho on the cheek and said, "Do it, babe."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Screamed Harry (Capslock mode), as Colin/Ghost Cho lit the candle. Suddenly it turned from a regular golden flame to a BLACK FLAME.

Hogwarts began to shake, the windows rattled. Lightning struck. Suddenly Cedric (Ghost) and Cho Chang (Killer Ghost) became corporeal. They had risen from the dead!

"We are alive! You did it, babe!" Cedric (Living) exclaimed as he grabbed Cho (Killer) and began snogging her senselessly.

"You see you old Crone," Cho (Killer) said to McGonagall, "We are alive and there couldn't possibly be any side affects. This was just a bunch of simple, hocus, pocus!"

With that, the entire hall filled with evil, maniacal laughter and cackling.

Ron, Harry (Horcrux Hunt), and Mione looked at Ginny (Tramp).

"What, I'm just right here. That wasn't me that time!" Ginny (Tramp) said.

The doors burst open, with lights flashing, spotlights illuminating three beings, clouded in a mist.

"Sisters! It worked! We are risen, we are free!" The first exclaimed, with pursed lips and red hair.

"I'm beautiful! Boys will love me again!" explained the attractive blond witch, who pranced over to the Hufflepuff table and sat on Justin Finch-Fletchley's lap.

"Winnie, I smell Children...." the third said, her face seemingly stuck in a strange near vertical smile.

"Of course you smell children you dolt, we are in a school!" Winifred Sanderson exclaimed.

For once, the entire hall was dumbstruck. Out of all the things that had happened, the resurrection of two former students (comically joked about for their passing or not passing) AND three sister witches claiming to be raised from the dead was too much.

"You will get out of this school at once!" Professor McGonagall shouted. "Piertotum Loco....meow!"

Winifred Sanderson had gestured at McGonagall midspell and changed her into a cat.

The cat changed back instantly into the stern witch. "I'm a cat animagus. I can easily change back and forth between that form."

"Oh really? well then how about this? Booook!!!" Winifred shouted, and a book with a large eye on it burst forth, having come from the library, and went to her hand.

"Sisters?" Winifred said, as they gathered around her. "Let's see....measeles, mumps, malaria, syphalis...we can do better than that....." she said, flipping through the pages.

"Ah yes, here we go," she cackled, closing the book.

"Sisters! Jump back!" Winifred intoned and began chanting:

"Twist the bones and fog the eyes," Winifred said.

"Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca," Sarah and Mary Sanderson continued.

"Loyal thoughts, with a canine mind," Winifred said.

"Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-ca," Sarah and Mary Sanderson continued.

"Lock her back into a fido form," Winifred said,

"Just.." Sarah said.

"Like." Mary said.

"This..." All three said together.

Suddenly where Professor McGonagall stood there was a tiny Corgi puppy, who immediately ran off, being chased by four of her kitten kids.

Screams began to fill the hall as students began to try to run for the doors, which suddenly slammed shut. The calamity was reaching new heights. Brian the Obvious Sous Chef drew his swords. Veela Draco took to the air. Colin Creevey, demigod of milk, caused milk to rise in the air in a defensive formation.

"HELLO! I'm Sequoia Simone!"  
"And I'm Kim!"  
"And this is Fanatical fics and where to...." it trailed off as our favorite podcast hosts looked down from their balcony of the Great Hall.

The Sanderson Sisters looked up at the sudden interruption.

"Oh My Greater Gods! It's the Sanderson Sisters. I KNEW IT WOULD BE A HALLOWEEN EPISODE TODAY!" Kim exclaimed.

"Kinda predictable though, Sanderson sisters. Next you'll tell me that Cedric isn't dead anymore," Sequioa said.

"But I'm not!" Cedric exclaimed.

"Oooh, he's a cute one! Winnie, can I have him?" Sarah asked as she pranced over to Cedric.

"You better watch yourself missy!" Cho (Killer) said.

"Oooh, a young witch here, and also risen with the power of the black flame candle. How very interesting....." Winnie said.

"Let me guess, you got a virgin demigod to light it with just a drop of old wizard blood while you were possessing him and holding tightly to your lost love?" Winnie said.

"Why yes," Cho (Killer) said. "How did you know?"

"That's just basic dark witchcraft. Amateur!" Winnie said, grabbing the candle and blowing it out.

Suddenly Cho (Killer) became translucent and returned to being Cho (Killer Ghost). "But WHY? And why did you and Cedric stay alive?"

"Because we are just frankly more evil. And Cedric stayed alive because it's a fitting punishment you two are separated again," Winnie said.

"I'll just kill myself," Cedric said, stabbing himself with a pipe. But he didn't die.

"You're immortal just like we are now! And you can spend time with us forever!" Sarah said. "We are going to run amok. Amok! Amok! Amok!"

Harry rose to his feet. This was his moment! "Expelliarmus!" he cried. No one was holding anything, so naturally, nothing happened. 

The entire Great Hall just turned and looked at him.

"Well, now what do we do?" Mary said. "We have children, the doors are locked, someone is broadcasting our activities, we are immortal, and clearly none of the other professors in the hall are going to do something because they would have by now...."

At that moment the doors to the Great Hall burst open and She-Who-Throws-Shade appeared, sashaying her way in. She took one look at the Sanderson Sisters, turned, and ran away, tripping over a pumpkin, doors sealing behind her. Even Lord/Lady Voldemort wanted nothing to do with them.

"I suppose there is just one thing we can do to wrap up this Halloween and a show, now that we are immortal, have a cute Hufflepuff for all time, and an entire school full of children in one place," Winnifred said.

All three sisters got into position.

Winnifred began:

"I put a spell on you  
And now you're mine  
You can't stop the things I do  
I ain't lyin'

It's been three hundred years  
Right down to the day  
Now the witch is back  
And there's hell to pay

I put a spell on you  
And now you're mine!

Hello, Salem!  
My name's Winifred!  
What's yours?

I put a spell on you  
And now you're gone  
(Gone, gone, gone, so long!)  
My whammy fell on you  
And it was strong  
(So strong, so strong, so strong!)

Your wretched little lives  
Have all been cursed  
'Cause of all the witches working  
I'm the worst

I put a spell on you  
And now you're mine

(Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! She ain’t lyin’)

If you don't believe,  
You better get superstitious  
Ask my sisters

Sarah: "Ooh, she's vicious!"

I put a spell on you...  
I put a spell on you...  
Sisters!

Winnie: "Ah say into pi, alpha maybe upendi!"

Students, Sequoia, and Kim: (repeating) Ah say into pi, alpha maybe upendi!

Winnie: "In comma-coriyama"

Students, Sequoia, and Kim: "In comma-coriyama"

Winnie: "Hey hi, say bye-bye-i-i-i-i-i-i-i"

"Bye, bye"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FANATICAL FAM!!!!


End file.
